How do you know when to say yes...or no?

Well, it’s official – I’ve entered into more than one retail store over the past few days to find it transformed into a Christmas wonderland, complete with music, new staff uniforms, and a spirit of joy that doesn’t seem to come at any other time of the year.

But wait a minute…

Didn’t we JUST have Halloween?

I suppose it’s inevitable that the stores are always going to seem to start Christmas earlier every year – particularly this year when they’re so eager to get a jump over the somewhat dismal performance of recent economic downturn.

As much as I enjoy the early holiday spirit, I notice that it always seems to call for an increase of targeted advertising – particularly relating to children. One of the areas I’ve seen this most is among the mobile phone companies, who seem to be targeting younger and younger audiences all the time.

While these ad campaigns used to have a clear target of mostly teens and twenty-something’s, they’ve now shifted over to the ‘tween’ sector. The actors in the ads are younger – there’s even one ad that has a tween asking her dad if he signed her up for a calling plan yet. In another, the entire family is in the car with both kids in the backseat – the younger one is texting while the teen is arguing with her mom about expired minutes!

Last year, my daughter began to ask for her own mobile phone.  Her asking became begging, and her begging became desperate acts of pleading and yearning. But throughout all this desperate pleading, she could not actually tell me why she wanted a mobile phone – other than repeating, “Everyone has one – and they are cool!”

The truth was, there wasn’t really a need for her to have a cell phone. She is on a closed campus during the day for school, and has access to the office telephone should she need to contact me. When not at school, she’s with me. Despite her arguments of, “Other people in my class have one mom – it’s just not fair!” she did not get a mobile telephone. I did not feel in alignment with giving her a mobile phone, so she did not get one.

Even more importantly than my alignment with her having one, it was very clear to me that she was really not in alignment with having one. She could not give me any real reason that she wanted one, other than everyone else has one, and they are cool

It can be such a difficult struggle when your child asks you for things like this. It can feel like you’re asking your child to earn his or her wellbeing. It can feel like ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’.

But it doesn’t have to feel like any of that. Read more

What standard are your kids measuring themselves up to?

One of my favorite times of the day is when I get to go and pick my daughter up from school. It is during the drive home that she and I get to catch up on the day’s activities. Our conversations at these times are totally open and honest.

One of the most recent conversations started out with the typical, “Mom, can I ask you something?” To which I always reply, “Of course honey, you can ask me anything.”

I have to admit, what came out of my daughter’s mouth was unexpected. “Mom, what are carbohydrates?”

“Okay,” I thought, “What is prompting this question? Maybe the kids had a discussion about carbohydrates in physical education? That must be it,” I thought to myself. “What is making you ask about carbohydrates, honey?”

Was I shocked to hear what came out of my ten-year-old daughter’s mouth as she continued, “Well, Janie* is only allowed 15 carbohydrates a day, and she says carbohydrates make you fat.”

“Wow!” I thought, “Oh my goodness – these are only 10 and 11 year old girls!” None of which (I can assure you) have any weight issues. So how did I handle the question about carbohydrates? Simple. I explained that carbohydrates are energy, just like all food. It takes energy for your body to function, for your brain to think, and for you to be able to do physical activities.

My daughter seemed to be satisfied with my answer and we continued on to different topics of discussion. The very next day, my daughter announced that Janie has taken up label reading and had begun offering nutritional advice to her classmates. Seems like Janie has become a self appointed dietitian, telling the kids what is good or bad for them to consume. My daughter also announced that she (my daughter) thinks her (my daughter’s) legs are chunky.

What? Read more